Welcome to PLSJ Podcast! Brought to you by the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.
Here we share popular questions asked by patrons, find out what leaders in our community are reading,
interview local authors, and so much more!

                          


Journey outside of the box with a surreal tale of tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator, O.J. Meeks.


Interview about the biography of Millie Benson, the Nancy Drew Ghostwriter.


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Out and about with Lisa Mort, Life Coach and Breathwork Instructor at the Empowered Wellness Studio here in Steubenville.

Transcript Technically Speaking Ep2: Terminator Strong and a Comfortable Summer Coat
Welcome to PLSJ’s Podcast, where the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County, shares with you our favorite quirky questions, finds out what leaders in our community are reading, interviews local authors and so much more.

Hello, hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Technically Speaking. My name is O.J. Meeks. I am the Technology Coordinator for the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.

In today’s episode, I would like to tell you about 2 very useful services that our library provides that you may not be aware of.

I may tell a true story or 2 about some of these useful services. If I happen to tell one of these true stories I will be sure not to divulge the identity of those who are in my stories. Any names that I use are fictitious. Also any resemblance to a real person is completely coincidental.

Ok, let’s get into it.

One service that we provide is free access to magazine subscriptions. Our patrons have free access to current and past issues of magazines like, Consumer Reports, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Motor Trend, People, Sports Illustrated, Time and many, many more. If you have a library card with us, you will have access to all of these magazines for free. You can view them on your computer or on a mobile device any time you wish.

Talking about subscriptions reminds me of someone who was subscribed to something that no one would ever want to be subscribed to.

A gentleman in his early 70s came to me one day for a scheduled tech help. He was a feisty, and loud individual. He had very little patience for just about anything. He was a large, broad shouldered man, who may have been some kind of weight lifter back in the day. I mean he seriously could have lifted me and two other people, at the same time, and thrown us across the street. Even though he was over 70.

One very intriguing thing about him was his outlandish maroon toupee. It just made him complete. To protect his identity I will call him Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower sat down to explain to me his predicament. But first he went off about an incident at the front desk. He started with, “I told them at the front desk I wanted to see O.J. Then this freaking idiot hits me with his gigantic walker. I told him well excuuuuuuse me buster. Sorry to take up your space.

That idiot told me to “Pipe down loudmouth. I didn’t hurt you!”

If he wasn’t already a gum flappin idiot I’d have knocked his false teeth clean outta his mouth, let me tell you. I’d have terminated that old buzzard.”

I instantly knew, this was going to be great!

“So what have you come in for Arnold Schnauzershower.” I asked.

“Call me Arnie son. Most people do.” So I called him Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower continued, “Somethings wrong with my computer. Stupid thing is slooooowww as molasses son. I had some tech company come fix it and I think they just made it worse. No, I know they made it worse. American company my brass. There ain’t no way Mike from Maine or Rita from Florida all have the same freakin foreign accent. I have no problem with anyone from another country, but be honest about where you come from rammit. Have a little pride.”

“What company is it that you used to fix your computer?” I asked.

Arnold Schnauzershower replied, “Oh some outfit that popped up on my computer one day. They said I had a problem with my computer that needed fixed right away. They gave me a deal I guess. I called the number and they said they would fix the problem on the spot one time only for $350. Or I could purchase a $300 subscription every 6 months to keep my computer from any viruses and such. Well I’m no idiot. I went for the subscription.”

“How long have you been with this company?” I asked.

Arnold Schnauzershower said, “About 2 years last Friday. That’s when I told them idiots off. I called the 1-800 number because I was having some computer trouble. Amanda from Alabama, born and raised she told me, answered the phone. Funny accent for someone from Alabama. Cause I ask them up front, Where the shell are you from cause I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“Well she went through a couple of them diagnostic tests. Then she said she fixed my computer. I told her it wasn’t fixed. So she had me transferred to a level 2 tech. The level 2 tech did find a problem. They told me there was a problem with some kind of Colonel. I was like Colonel who? Colonel Sanders. I have no idea what they were talking about. They said my current subscription needed upgraded to fix this kind of problem. They wanted $100 to upgrade. I told them where they could put their upgrade. They told me to have a nice day. I told them to rot in, wellllllllll I won’t get into too much more detail about what I told them after that.”

“As soon as I got off the phone with them my computer started getting a lot worse. It’s rammed near impossible to use now.”

I informed Arnold Schnauzershower “I believe these people are not a legitimate computer company. They are taking advantage of you. If you used a credit or debit card to pay them, have your financial institution issue you a new card right away. They could potentially wipe out your account.”

“What the chuck?” bellowed Arnold Schnauzershower. “I had a sneaking suspicion they were Predators. I get my hands on them I’ll send them soaring to the U.S. state they said they was from?”

I started up Arnold Schnauzershower’s laptop to confirm my suspicions.

After 10 full minutes it finally booted up.

I poked around and found that they still had remote access software installed on the laptop.

I told Arnold Schnauzershower “This so-called computer company still has access to your computer. They can change settings or control it at any time. The only way to ensure this company is out of your computer is to wipe your hard drive and factory reset it. I can do this but it will take a while.”

“Well I’ll be rammed son. That’s awful kind of you.” Replied a thankful Arnold Schnauzershower.

Arnold Schnauzershower got up, straightened out his back and his maroon toupee, which had gotten quite a bit out of alignment.

Then Arnold Schnauzershower told me “I’ll be back.”

Arnold Schnauzershower was indeed back for quite a few more adventures, but those are stories for another time.

Hey have you ever wondered what people eat in Albania? Maybe you need a recipe from Greece? Perhaps you would like to know what the food culture is in Norway? Check out our A-Z World Food database. You can find all kinds of food facts from around the world. It’s on our homepage under E-Resources, Databases. This library service makes me hungry.

Talking about services reminds me of someone who was on the receiving end of terrible, terrible customer service.

I was working in the Genealogy Room one day when a woman came in desperately needing some help.

It was a hot summer day. Probably about 80 degrees or so outside. This woman had a scarf and a full length buttoned-up winter coat on, which she seemed to be very comfortable in. To protect her identity, I will call her Oprah Winsawhiff.

Before I could ask Oprah Winsawhiff anything, she started asking me questions. “What’s your name. You’re a young guy how old are you? How long you worked here for? What kind of umbrella do you use when it rains? I like the bigger ones. Do you use an umbrella at all? How long has this building been here for? I eat breakfast. Do you eat breakfast? Best meal of the day. The good lord made breakfast to keep the woolly worms woolly.”

I didn’t get a chance to answer but a fraction of all those questions. And what on earth does a woolly worm have to do with breakfast? What does that even mean?

Oprah Winsawhiff then introduced herself “My names Oprah Winsawhiff, but people call me Harpo.”

So I called her Oprah Winsawhiff.

After another torrent of questions I could not possibly answer in a reasonable amount of time, she finally got into the reason she came to the library. “Oooooooh. They are dirty, they are so dirty. You wouldn’t believe the trouble they put an old woman through. I live by myself. I got no one. Oooooooh. They are dirty. They are so dirty!” She said.

I asked, “Who’s dirty? Why are they so dirty? Why didn’t they take a bath?” I really, really wanted to ask about the woolly worms, but I didn’t.

She sternly said, “Young man, let me tell you something about some people you may know something about, but you didn’t know this about them.”
I wanted to scream “What about the woolly worms?”

She continued, “Them dirties told me nothing is wrong with my phone at my house. Them dirties told me, my phone sounds crystal clear. There is something wrong. I’m a widow. I live by myself. I had a handy man come around. Didn’t trust him though. I hide my monies and I watched him the whole time. I don’t trust my monies round some handyman coming around fixing stuff. I don’t think he knew how to fix stuff right to tell the truth. Me and him would go rounds, let me tell you. Nobody does me dirty.”

“Ok.” I said. “So there is something wrong with your landline phone. The phone company told you it sounds crystal clear to them. Did your handyman try to fix your phone?”

Oprah Winsawhiff perplexedly said, “Handyman, I haven’t had a handyman in years. How’s he gonna fix my phone? He dead now. He was dirty anyway. Forgive me Lord for telling the truth.”

I replied, “Oh my! What exactly is wrong with your phone?”

Oprah Winsawhiff replied “Well I like to call my niece in Montecito, California cause we both read those book club books. You know the one’s that talk show lady recommends. My niece hears me sometimes but I can’t hear her. Sometimes I hear her and she can’t hear me. It happens with my son too. I told them dirties. I told em. They said it sounded crystal clear to them. If I wanted it fixed, I have to fix it. How am I supposed to fix it? I’m an old woman. I live by myself. I don’t have anybody.”

It was about this time that I realized that, Tessa Ferrari, another staff member who works next door in our Reference Department, was following our conversation very closely.

Tessa Ferrari came over and asked Oprah Winsawhiff, “Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them right now!”

And she did. Tessa Ferrari called that phone company on the spot and she straightened the whole thing out. Tessa Ferrari used tactics I’d never seen before. Tessa Ferrari didn’t just mention the better business bureau. She made it very clear to the phone company that there are other organizations that deal with bad business practices. I had never heard of these other organizations. But this phone company had heard of them. She saved the day. She was a hero to this old woman that had nowhere else to turn.

A phone company employee immediately came to Oprah Winsawhiff’s house and fixed her phone for free. Then they checked up on her a week later and 2 weeks after that to make sure everything was ok.

But I didn’t get an answer to what the good lord, breakfast and woolly worms have in common. Fortunately, this would not be the last time I would be on an Oprah Winsawhiff adventure.

Thank you all for listening. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to PLSJ’s podcast. Visit us in person at your library branch or online at steubenvillelibrary.org.


Enjoy a quirky take on tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator O.J. Meeks.


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Out and about with Therese Nelson Fedoryka, Chief Designer of Nelson Fine Art and Gifts.


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Out and About with Dawn Freeman and Michelle Santarelli, founders of Gather Catering.

Transcript Technically Speaking Ep1: Something Dirty, Someone Cranky, Something Spooky
Welcome to PLSJ’s Podcast, where the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County, shares with you our favorite quirky questions, finds out what leaders in our community are reading, interviews local authors and so much more.

Hello, hi there. My name is O.J. Meeks. I’m the tech coordinator for the Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County. We often have patrons come into our libraries for tech help, hoping that someone can help them out with their electronic devices. I’m going to tell you about 3 things that you can do to make Library Tech Help go a lot faster.

These 3 things are in no particular order. Also, the names have been changed to protect those whose true stories I use as examples. All names have been changed to a fictional name. Any resemblance to an actual person is completely coincidental.

#1. Please kindly clean off your device before you come into the library for tech help. I have seen a lot of dirty devices. I have wondered why a device is wet when it is not raining outside. I realize everyone forgets things. After all it’s not germy to you. But if I can’t convince you to clean your device for us to help you, I can tell you a true story of one of the most deplorable devices I have ever seen.

This older very attractive lady came in one day for a scheduled Tech Help. She told me she had just gotten off the morning train. Now to my knowledge, we don’t have a morning train around here. I instantly thought maybe she’s just a little forgetful. To protect her identity, I will call her Sheena Weston. Well Sheena Weston was distraught because her tablet just wouldn’t work. It turned on but the touch screen was completely unresponsive.

“How am I supposed to play my games?” she asked. “My screen is so bad I can’t even see Kenny Rogers on the youtube. That man was a hottie in his day. He can stay with me anytime.”

I thought to myself “Well that was way too much information.” I told Sheena Weston, “Ok Sheena Weston, I’ll see what I can do.”

She said “Call me Sheena.” So I called her Sheena Weston.

Sheena Weston’s tablet resembled a regular tablet from a distance. But upon closer inspection I found it had a very strange looking screen. The screen glowed so I knew that it was functioning. When Sheena Weston handed me her precious tablet I could not feel the actual screen. It looked like Sheena Weston had eaten scrambled eggs repeatedly on the screen of her tablet. And let’s just say, Sheena Weston was a very messy eater. A tablet screen with texture like that shouldn’t have been possible. This had to have broken one or several laws of physics. I’m not casting aspersions on anyone who thinks otherwise, but a tablet isn’t a breakfast or dinner plate.

I suppressed a substantial gag reflex. I calmly told poor Sheena Weston that I might be able to fix her tablet. I informed her that I would return with some tools.

Tons of lens cleaner and several wash cloths made her tablet good as new. Sheena Weston then told me “Thank you.” without even a hint of embarrassment. Sheena Weston then walked away and proclaimed to nobody in particular “I didn’t know you were supposed to clean those things.” Then she hummed the tune “For your Eyes Only” all the way out of the library. Imagine that.

Now on to the 2nd thing that you can do to prepare yourself for library tech help. Bring your passwords in with you if you have them. We often have to go into certain settings on your device to fix it for you. These settings almost always require a password. Things will go a lot faster if you have your password with you.

It’s common knowledge that a password needs to be strong. A password also needs to be kept secure. I’ll tell you of a true story from years ago, when I first started helping people with tech. There was a short, thin, little old man that needed assistance with his email. This guy was cool! I mean this guy was freaking awesome! I will never forget him. His brown pants were held up with suspenders, high up to his chest. This showed off his incredible socks that did not match. One sock was blue, one sock was tan. He had a full 6 inches of sock on display. It was magnificent! He had a cane and could not stand for very long.

Unfortunately for him, he was using one of our stand-up internet terminals. The fact that he was tired of standing contributed to his very verbal frustration with the computer he was using. A thick cloud of profanity still lingers above where that computer once was. At any moment, his cane was going to go through that computer screen. I knew this because he physically held his cane like a spear to gut the computer screen. I had to do something right away. To protect his identity, I’ll call him George Clowney.

I said “Excuse me sir. Can I help you?” A considerable amount of uncomfortable time passed as he finished his verbal assault of the computer he was using. He then turned to me and said, “What? I’m hard of hearing. You’re going to have to speak up!”

I then asked “Can I help you sir?”

The old man retorted, “Sir! Don’t call me sir. The name’s George Clowney. Just call me George.” So I called him George Clowney.

George Clowney gruffly spouted “My back hurts. I gotta go sit down.”

I got a chair for George Clowney. I asked George Clowney if he needed to go to the E.R. due to the pain he was having. George Clowney gruffly spouted, “What do you think I look like? Some kind of invalid? I don’t think you understand the Gravity of the situation kid. I’m old.” Then he said a few more words I can’t repeat. I just stared at him in awe.

I snapped out of it when George Clowney told me “I know I’m devastatingly good looking, but you gotta stop staring at me kid.”

George Clowney then told me “I’m trying to get my parts for my tractor special order. Them idiots told me I got to use a computer. I’m 89 years old. I don’t have no computer at home. Them knuckleheads told me they would send an email so I can order my tractor parts. I can’t find my email anywhere on that stupid computer of yours. I can find it on my tablet. But not on that stupid computer.”

I said to George Clowney, “You might be able to order your parts from your tablet.”

George Clowney leaned menacingly forward, both hands on the top of his cane. His suspenders started to strain from the pressure to hold his pants up high to his chest. He bellowed across the library “Them idiots told me I gotta use a computer. There ain’t no talkin any sense to none of em. All I do on my tablet is check my email and watch Golden Girls. I like that a that “To Catch A Neighbor” episode. “It’s my favorite one! I’ll watch that over and over. There’s a good lookin fellow in that episode.”

I thought that was oddly specific, but I was thoroughly entertained. I love cranky old people. They have no filter and they just don’t care.

I walked over to the computer George Clowney was using. I proceeded to navigate to George Clowney’s email address after he literally shouted it to me. By now we had drawn a crowd. I caught a slight grin on that cranky old man’s weathered face. George Clowney was clearly starting to enjoy this.

I walked over to George Clowney to get the password to his email address. I didn’t want the whole world to hear him spout it out. I asked him to write it down on a piece of paper.

I walked back over to the computer. As I entered his password I was horrified when he shouted as loud as anyone could possibly be at the library, “breakers! All small letters. Breakers. I use breakers for everything. That’s the only password I use is breakers. I’m too old to remember anything else, so I just use breakers. I don’t care who knows.

Now everybody knows George Clowney’s password.

Ok. Last but not least, please fully charge your device before you bring it into the library for tech help. We can’t fix your device if your battery is dead. It is also a good idea to bring your charging cords with you as well. Just in case.

Speaking of batteries not being charged, I will leave you with a true story of a man who needed help with his device. He was a good looking, sharp dressing man who appeared to be in his 50s. To protect his identity, I’ll call him Denzel Washingtoast. He was having trouble logging into his tablet. Although his tablet was low on battery life, I was able to help him with his login problem. His tablet also needed a very important update, but there just wasn’t enough battery life left to do it.

Denzel Washingtoast was so happy I helped him log back into his tablet. Denzel Washingtoast said he would return the next day with a fully charged battery so I could perform the update.

Denzel Washingtoast returned the next day excited that I was helping him with his tablet. After I performed the update I said, “Denzel Washingtoast, I think you are good to go now.”

Denzel Washingtoast told me, “Nah man, we’re friends now. Call me Denzel.”

So I called him Denzel Washingtoast.

Denzel Washingtoast told me “Hey man I feel Unstoppable now. Like a runaway freight train. You feel me.”

I said, “Yeah. I feel you. I feel you Denzel Washingtoast.”
Denzel Washingtoast made many more visits into the library for various phone and tablet problems. I was always glad to help him because he had this incredibly infectious smile. After a while he stopped coming in. I wondered what had happened to Denzel Washingtoast.

One day I received a call from a patron about 20 minutes before my shift ended. To my surprise, it was Denzel Washingtoast. I hadn’t heard from him in months. Denzel Washingtoast told me “Hey man I got a problem. Could you help a brother out?”

I said “Of course!” What do you need?”

Denzel Washingtoast replied “I need some chips.”

I said “You need some chips. What do you mean you need some chips?”

Denzel Washingtoast said “I’m in a bad way and I don’t have anybody. I’m in the hospital man. I need some chips. Could you stop at the store and get me some? I’ll pay you back.”

I said “Sure. I get off work in about 20 minutes.”

Denzel Washingtoast screamed with delight, “That’s great man! I need some Lays and some Ruffles and uhh some, some Fritos. Big bags. Family bags. I’m in room 54 man.”

I went to the store, bought the chips (Family size of course), then I headed to the hospital.

When I arrived at room number 54 I saw Denzel Washingtoast in all his Glory, smiling that infectious smile ear to ear, absolutely ecstatic that I had arrived.

Denzel Washingtoast told me “You did it man. You came through for me man! I had no one else to call. I’ll never forget this. How much do I owe you?”

I told Denzel Washingtoast he didn’t owe me anything.

He said “Come on man. I gotta give you something.”

I told him “Don’t worry about it. That’s what friends do.”

He eagerly looked inside the grocery bag at his Family size bags of chips. His eyes were beaming. Then his eyes darted to the hallway in case there was anyone spying as he quickly hid his stash of chips. After opening a bag and partaking their salty goodness of course.

We talked for a bit and I wished Denzel Washingtoast a speedy recovery.

A couple months later I arrived at work to find out Denzel Washingtoast left a surprise for me. It was an unusual surprise. It was an actual full suit with dress pants. I was puzzled to say the least.

Denzel Washingtoast called me later that same day and asked “Hey man did you get the suit?”

I said, “Yes. Thank you.”

He said “Look man, you really stepped up for me getting those chips like that. I had no one else to call and you stepped up. This is my gift to you in appreciation of that. That blue suit was my brother in law’s. You two look to be about the same size. He passed away a while ago. I thought it would be perfect for you.”

I said “Wow. I’m really sorry about your brother in law.”

Denzel Washingtoast solemnly replied “There are two kinds of pain in this world. The pain that hurts, the pain that alters”.

I did not know why he said that, but then he told me this “Yeah man we bought that blue suit for him to be shown.”

Horrified I said, “Shown. You mean shown in a casket.”

Denzel Washingtoast said “Yeah man. That blue suit’s only been worn one time. It’s a good suit.”

Thank you Denzel Washingtoast for giving me a suit an actual dead man was wearing after he died. I still to this day have that blue suit. I have never tried it on for fear that it is haunted by Denzel Washingtoast’s dead brother in law.

Thank you all for listening. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to PLSJ’s podcast. Visit us in person at your library branch or online at steubenvillelibrary.org.


Enjoy a quirky take on tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator O.J. Meeks.


Out and about with Laura Rauch, Executive Director of the United Way of Jefferson County.


Out and About with Paul Giannamore the Assignment Editor and Producer of WTOV News 9.


Out and About with Patricia Maple-Damewood, President of the Jefferson County Chamber of Commerce.


Out and About with Bobbyjon Bauman the Director of Programming of the Sycamore Center in Steubenville Ohio.