Welcome to PLSJ Podcast! Brought to you by the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County.
Here we share popular questions asked by patrons, find out what leaders in our community are reading,
interview local authors, and so much more!

                          


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Have you ever been sorry you asked something? Don’t be! PLSJ’s Reference Librarian J.L. finds the answers to questions you thought might not even have an answer.


Out and About with Dawn Freeman and Michelle Santarelli, founders of Gather Catering.

Transcript Technically Speaking Episode 1 PLSJ Podcast
Welcome to PLSJ’s Podcast, where the Public Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County, shares with you our favorite quirky questions, finds out what leaders in our community are reading, interviews local authors and so much more.

Hello, hi there. My name is O.J. Meeks. I’m the tech coordinator for the Library of Steubenville and Jefferson County. We often have patrons come into our libraries for tech help, hoping that someone can help them out with their electronic devices. I’m going to tell you about 3 things that you can do to make Library Tech Help go a lot faster.

These 3 things are in no particular order. Also, the names have been changed to protect those whose true stories I use as examples. All names have been changed to a fictional name. Any resemblance to an actual person is completely coincidental.

#1. Please kindly clean off your device before you come into the library for tech help. I have seen a lot of dirty devices. I have wondered why a device is wet when it is not raining outside. I realize everyone forgets things. After all it’s not germy to you. But if I can’t convince you to clean your device for us to help you, I can tell you a true story of one of the most deplorable devices I have ever seen.

This older very attractive lady came in one day for a scheduled Tech Help. She told me she had just gotten off the morning train. Now to my knowledge, we don’t have a morning train around here. I instantly thought maybe she’s just a little forgetful. To protect her identity, I will call her Sheena Weston. Well Sheena Weston was distraught because her tablet just wouldn’t work. It turned on but the touch screen was completely unresponsive.

“How am I supposed to play my games?” she asked. “My screen is so bad I can’t even see Kenny Rogers on the youtube. That man was a hottie in his day. He can stay with me anytime.”

I thought to myself “Well that was way too much information.” I told Sheena Weston, “Ok Sheena Weston, I’ll see what I can do.”

She said “Call me Sheena.” So I called her Sheena Weston.

Sheena Weston’s tablet resembled a regular tablet from a distance. But upon closer inspection I found it had a very strange looking screen. The screen glowed so I knew that it was functioning. When Sheena Weston handed me her precious tablet I could not feel the actual screen. It looked like Sheena Weston had eaten scrambled eggs repeatedly on the screen of her tablet. And let’s just say, Sheena Weston was a very messy eater. A tablet screen with texture like that shouldn’t have been possible. This had to have broken one or several laws of physics. I’m not casting aspersions on anyone who thinks otherwise, but a tablet isn’t a breakfast or dinner plate.

I suppressed a substantial gag reflex. I calmly told poor Sheena Weston that I might be able to fix her tablet. I informed her that I would return with some tools.

Tons of lens cleaner and several wash cloths made her tablet good as new. Sheena Weston then told me “Thank you.” without even a hint of embarrassment. Sheena Weston then walked away and proclaimed to nobody in particular “I didn’t know you were supposed to clean those things.” Then she hummed the tune “For your Eyes Only” all the way out of the library. Imagine that.

Now on to the 2nd thing that you can do to prepare yourself for library tech help. Bring your passwords in with you if you have them. We often have to go into certain settings on your device to fix it for you. These settings almost always require a password. Things will go a lot faster if you have your password with you.

It’s common knowledge that a password needs to be strong. A password also needs to be kept secure. I’ll tell you of a true story from years ago, when I first started helping people with tech. There was a short, thin, little old man that needed assistance with his email. This guy was cool! I mean this guy was freaking awesome! I will never forget him. His brown pants were held up with suspenders, high up to his chest. This showed off his incredible socks that did not match. One sock was blue, one sock was tan. He had a full 6 inches of sock on display. It was magnificent! He had a cane and could not stand for very long.

Unfortunately for him, he was using one of our stand-up internet terminals. The fact that he was tired of standing contributed to his very verbal frustration with the computer he was using. A thick cloud of profanity still lingers above where that computer once was. At any moment, his cane was going to go through that computer screen. I knew this because he physically held his cane like a spear to gut the computer screen. I had to do something right away. To protect his identity, I’ll call him George Clowney.

I said “Excuse me sir. Can I help you?” A considerable amount of uncomfortable time passed as he finished his verbal assault of the computer he was using. He then turned to me and said, “What? I’m hard of hearing. You’re going to have to speak up!”

I then asked “Can I help you sir?”

The old man retorted, “Sir! Don’t call me sir. The name’s George Clowney. Just call me George.” So I called him George Clowney.

George Clowney gruffly spouted “My back hurts. I gotta go sit down.”

I got a chair for George Clowney. I asked George Clowney if he needed to go to the E.R. due to the pain he was having. George Clowney gruffly spouted, “What do you think I look like? Some kind of invalid? I don’t think you understand the Gravity of the situation kid. I’m old.” Then he said a few more words I can’t repeat. I just stared at him in awe.

I snapped out of it when George Clowney told me “I know I’m devastatingly good looking, but you gotta stop staring at me kid.”

George Clowney then told me “I’m trying to get my parts for my tractor special order. Them idiots told me I got to use a computer. I’m 89 years old. I don’t have no computer at home. Them knuckleheads told me they would send an email so I can order my tractor parts. I can’t find my email anywhere on that stupid computer of yours. I can find it on my tablet. But not on that stupid computer.”

I said to George Clowney, “You might be able to order your parts from your tablet.”

George Clowney leaned menacingly forward, both hands on the top of his cane. His suspenders started to strain from the pressure to hold his pants up high to his chest. He bellowed across the library “Them idiots told me I gotta use a computer. There ain’t no talkin any sense to none of em. All I do on my tablet is check my email and watch Golden Girls. I like that a that “To Catch A Neighbor” episode. “It’s my favorite one! I’ll watch that over and over. There’s a good lookin fellow in that episode.”

I thought that was oddly specific, but I was thoroughly entertained. I love cranky old people. They have no filter and they just don’t care.

I walked over to the computer George Clowney was using. I proceeded to navigate to George Clowney’s email address after he literally shouted it to me. By now we had drawn a crowd. I caught a slight grin on that cranky old man’s weathered face. George Clowney was clearly starting to enjoy this.

I walked over to George Clowney to get the password to his email address. I didn’t want the whole world to hear him spout it out. I asked him to write it down on a piece of paper.

I walked back over to the computer. As I entered his password I was horrified when he shouted as loud as anyone could possibly be at the library, “breakers! All small letters. Breakers. I use breakers for everything. That’s the only password I use is breakers. I’m too old to remember anything else, so I just use breakers. I don’t care who knows.

Now everybody knows George Clowney’s password.

Ok. Last but not least, please fully charge your device before you bring it into the library for tech help. We can’t fix your device if your battery is dead. It is also a good idea to bring your charging cords with you as well. Just in case.

Speaking of batteries not being charged, I will leave you with a true story of a man who needed help with his device. He was a good looking, sharp dressing man who appeared to be in his 50s. To protect his identity, I’ll call him Denzel Washingtoast. He was having trouble logging into his tablet. Although his tablet was low on battery life, I was able to help him with his login problem. His tablet also needed a very important update, but there just wasn’t enough battery life left to do it.

Denzel Washingtoast was so happy I helped him log back into his tablet. Denzel Washingtoast said he would return the next day with a fully charged battery so I could perform the update.

Denzel Washingtoast returned the next day excited that I was helping him with his tablet. After I performed the update I said, “Denzel Washingtoast, I think you are good to go now.”

Denzel Washingtoast told me, “Nah man, we’re friends now. Call me Denzel.”

So I called him Denzel Washingtoast.

Denzel Washingtoast told me “Hey man I feel Unstoppable now. Like a runaway freight train. You feel me.”

I said, “Yeah. I feel you. I feel you Denzel Washingtoast.”
Denzel Washingtoast made many more visits into the library for various phone and tablet problems. I was always glad to help him because he had this incredibly infectious smile. After a while he stopped coming in. I wondered what had happened to Denzel Washingtoast.

One day I received a call from a patron about 20 minutes before my shift ended. To my surprise, it was Denzel Washingtoast. I hadn’t heard from him in months. Denzel Washingtoast told me “Hey man I got a problem. Could you help a brother out?”

I said “Of course!” What do you need?”

Denzel Washingtoast replied “I need some chips.”

I said “You need some chips. What do you mean you need some chips?”

Denzel Washingtoast said “I’m in a bad way and I don’t have anybody. I’m in the hospital man. I need some chips. Could you stop at the store and get me some? I’ll pay you back.”

I said “Sure. I get off work in about 20 minutes.”

Denzel Washingtoast screamed with delight, “That’s great man! I need some Lays and some Ruffles and uhh some, some Fritos. Big bags. Family bags. I’m in room 54 man.”

I went to the store, bought the chips (Family size of course), then I headed to the hospital.

When I arrived at room number 54 I saw Denzel Washingtoast in all his Glory, smiling that infectious smile ear to ear, absolutely ecstatic that I had arrived.

Denzel Washingtoast told me “You did it man. You came through for me man! I had no one else to call. I’ll never forget this. How much do I owe you?”

I told Denzel Washingtoast he didn’t owe me anything.

He said “Come on man. I gotta give you something.”

I told him “Don’t worry about it. That’s what friends do.”

He eagerly looked inside the grocery bag at his Family size bags of chips. His eyes were beaming. Then his eyes darted to the hallway in case there was anyone spying as he quickly hid his stash of chips. After opening a bag and partaking their salty goodness of course.

We talked for a bit and I wished Denzel Washingtoast a speedy recovery.

A couple months later I arrived at work to find out Denzel Washingtoast left a surprise for me. It was an unusual surprise. It was an actual full suit with dress pants. I was puzzled to say the least.

Denzel Washingtoast called me later that same day and asked “Hey man did you get the suit?”

I said, “Yes. Thank you.”

He said “Look man, you really stepped up for me getting those chips like that. I had no one else to call and you stepped up. This is my gift to you in appreciation of that. That blue suit was my brother in law’s. You two look to be about the same size. He passed away a while ago. I thought it would be perfect for you.”

I said “Wow. I’m really sorry about your brother in law.”

Denzel Washingtoast solemnly replied “There are two kinds of pain in this world. The pain that hurts, the pain that alters”.

I did not know why he said that, but then he told me this “Yeah man we bought that blue suit for him to be shown.”

Horrified I said, “Shown. You mean shown in a casket.”

Denzel Washingtoast said “Yeah man. That blue suit’s only been worn one time. It’s a good suit.”

Thank you Denzel Washingtoast for giving me a suit an actual dead man was wearing after he died. I still to this day have that blue suit. I have never tried it on for fear that it is haunted by Denzel Washingtoast’s dead brother in law.

Thank you all for listening. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to PLSJ’s podcast. Visit us in person at your library branch or online at steubenvillelibrary.org.


Enjoy a quirky take on tech with PLSJ’s Technology Coordinator O.J. Meeks.


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